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Friday, February 2, 2007

Groundhog Gets Political, Predicts Six More Years Of War In Iraq

(PUNXSUTAWNEY) - Punxsutawney Phil's prediction today of an early spring was overshadowed when the script read by his handlers took a sudden political turn.

In this year's speech, read by Punxsutawney Groundhog Club Inner Circle member Dr. Paul "Rusty" Johnston, Phil predicted the war in Iraq would continue for at least another six years.

"Up here on Gobbler's Knob today, I predict the Iraq war is not going away," the groundhog prognosticated. "While an early spring I expect there to be, no end soon to this war do I see."

The prediction drew loud jeers and boos from many in the large crowd of normally jolly and sedate onlookers, some of whom tossed their Meister Brau beer cans on stage in protest.

"What a buzzkill, dude," said Schuyler Marmiller, a TKE fraternity member from Indiana University of Pennsylvania. "If I wanted to hear about politics, I would have stayed at school today and gone to class instead of coming here in the wee hours of the morning to get rip-roaring drunk and watch some rodent get on his soapbox."