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Friday, April 27, 2007

Rendell: I've Broken 140 Separate Laws In My Time As Governor

(HARRISBURG) - In response to a Freedom of Information Act request from the Gazelle, Governor Ed Rendell today released a list of local, state and federal laws he has broken during his time in office. The 317-page document seemed to indicate that the governor's recent admissions about speeding were just the tip of the iceberg.

Included in the list are several traffic violations Rendell has committed through orders to his state trooper escort, including failure to yield to pedestrians, tailgating and a litany of aggressive driving-related offenses.

In addition, Rendell said he once urinated from the top of the reserved section bleachers at a Harrisburg Senators game. "I should note that I was high as a kite at the time, so I guess that's another one," he wrote.

The governor said he has only committed one capital offense to date. "I murdered a hobo with my bare hands. But I assure you that he had it coming."

Among the lesser offenses Rendell has committed: wiping boogers under the rear passenger seat in several state-issued vehicles, stealing numerous beer mugs from Zembie's and ripping the tags off of various articles of furniture in the Governor's Mansion.