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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Lawmakers Strive For New Budget By End Of New Budget Year

(HARRISBURG) - State legislators from all four caucuses held a ceremony today to sign a pact vowing to pass a new budget for the upcoming budget year by June 30, 2009, which will be the final day of said budget year.

"We feel we owe it to the people of Pennsylvania to set reasonable goals," said Senate Majority Leader Dominic Pileggi (R-Kinda' Shady). "Plenty of bills are in line awaiting action before the budget," he added, including legislation that would prevent lesbians from buying liquor at state-run Wine and Spirit Shoppes on Tuesdays.

Governor Ed Rendell responded angrily to the news and chided lawmakers for "setting expectations even lower than I do." Rendell then proceeded to furlough Lieutenant Governor Catherine Baker Knoll "until further notice."

A woman who answered the phone at Knoll's residence said the lieutenant governor was "making dandelion stew and frolicking with gypsies" and was therefore unavailable for comment.