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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Purchase Of Mini Cooper Turns Steelton Man Gay

(STEELTON) - After 41 years of living a heterosexual lifestyle, Dan Maddox of Steelton became gay this week. The switch and subsequent declaration to family and friends came within days of his recent purchase of a red 2008 Mini Cooper.

Maureen Maddox, his wife, said she grew suspicious when Dan was watching television one night recently. "He has always been a humongous hockey fan. But instead of watching the Eastern Conference finals, Dan was watching 'Dancing With the Stars' and playing with his nipples."

Harry Shelton, the salesman at the Carlisle dealership that sold Maddox the car, said the Steelton man was presented with a written disclaimer that outlined studies regarding the model's tendency to cause shifts in sexual preferences. "It's standard. It's not like we didn't warn him."