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Monday, April 28, 2008

Catholic Diocese Inks Deal With Cheez-Its Maker

(HARRISBURG) - The Roman Catholic Diocese of Harrisburg today entered into an agreement that makes Cheez-It crackers the official Communion wafer of all 89 parishes within the diocese.

Kellogg Co. landed the contract, the terms of which are eternal, by edging out a competing bid from Nabisco, which had put forth its famous Ritz brand crackers for consideration.

Among the deciding factors for Bishop Kevin Rhoades was said to be the opportunity to use jalapeno-flavored Cheez-Its as a penance for confession.

Rhoades was also said to be somewhat offended at one line in Nabisco's proposal that read, "Everything tastes better sitting on the body of Christ."

The deal comes less than a year after the Diocese entered into a contract with Sutter Home that made Cabernet Sauvignon "the official sacramental wine" of the region's parishes.