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Thursday, August 9, 2007

Murdoch Buys Central PA Gazelle

(UNDATED) - Media Mogul Rupert Murdoch has succeeded in his bid to take over the Central PA Gazelle.

Murdoch paid $15 for the publication, according to sources in the newsroom who asked not to be named due to shame and embarrassment resulting from their new-found relationship with Murdoch.

"On his first day, he came into the newsroom and made us put on lipstick and called us girly whores," one male staffer said. "That just shows how powerful he is."

Murdoch was asked why he targeted this particular publication. "It's clear that the Gazelle holds the same level of regard for truthful, accurate reporting as some of my other properties, such as Fox News," he replied.

"Our readers probably noticed a bit of a production slowdown in the last week or so," said D. Editor, managing editor of the Gazelle. "That was due largely to talks with Murdoch. Well, that and the fact we've all been looking for other jobs."