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Monday, January 14, 2008

Reed Declares State Of Emergency Due To Thompson Presidency

(HARRISBURG) -- Mayor Stephen Reed today declared a state of emergency for the city of Harrisburg due to the appointment of Linda Thompson as City Council president.

"This day is on par with the Rapture, only much worse," Reed said.

In an interview from his home, Jesus Christ agreed with Reed. "Yeah, this is definitely a setback for Harrisburg," Christ said. "Lord knows, I'll be praying for you."

The mayor urged all residents to remain inside until the Thompson presidency passes, which is expected to take two years.

"If only they'd lure her onto 'Dancing With the Stars' again, we could get a much-needed reprieve from her for a few more months," Reed said.