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Friday, August 15, 2008

DeWeese Urges Self To Step Down

(HARRISBURG) - State House Majority Leader Bill DeWeese was seen standing alone today on the floor of a darkened and otherwise vacant Pennsylvania House of Representatives delivering a speech in which he called upon himself to resign.

"In light of the fact that nearly everyone I've dealt closely with in the past couple years has been indicted or probably will be soon, I urge myself to do the right thing and relinquish my House seat, or at the very least, my leadership post," DeWeese (D-Greene) said. "I mean really. Who the hell am I trying to fool?"

Standing at a lectern, DeWeese laid out a case against his own plans to seek re-election. "A true leader does not unnecessarily put his troops directly in harm's way for purely political gain," the lawmaker said. Occasionally, he would pause to take a swig from a large jug of Gatorade and scarf down a few pork rinds, only to continue lambasting himself for what ended up being a 47-minute tirade.

In an interview after his floor speech, DeWeese said he thought he had made several good points, but ultimately brushed aside his own calls for his resignation. "I can not let this type of gibberish keep me from doing my job," he said.