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Monday, February 18, 2008

Rendell Switches Presidential Endorsement To Kucinich

(HARRISBURG) - In a move rarely seen in the political arena, Governor Ed Rendell today announced he was withdrawing his endorsement of Senator Hillary Clinton and would instead throw his support behind Congressman Dennis Kucinich, D-OH, who dropped out of the presidential race last month.

"After I recently noted that Barack Obama's electability is limited in Pennsylvania because he's African-American, it was brought to my attention that Hillary [Clinton] is a woman," Rendell told reporters. "Until this point, I was not aware of this. Had I been privy to this information before, she would not have received my endorsement due to the obvious challenges she would face with the commonwealth's extremely sexist electorate."

Pundits instantly criticized Rendell for his abrupt change of course, with columnist John Baer of the Philadelphia Daily News chastising the governor for backing "just another white guy," noting "a Kucinich presidency would be boring in that it would offer no 'firsts.'"

Rendell later disputed that argument in an interview with the Gazelle. "Under President Kucinich, we would have the first hot First Lady," he said.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Winter Storm Turns Part Of I-81 Into Ice Rink

(HARRISBURG) - PennDOT shut down a stretch of Interstate 81 in Dauphin County this evening and transformed it into a paid-admission skating rink, much to the chagrin of motorists who were forced to find an alternate route.

"I heard about it on the TV [news], but I didn't realize it was for real," said Carlisle resident David Jarrens. "I just assumed the reporter was using the same old tired cliche again."

PennDOT Secretary Allen Biehler noted the money would benefit "two good causes."

"While it may have inconvenienced some drivers, they should take solace in the fact that 75 percent of the proceeds will be put toward bridge and highway repairs," Biehler said. He said the remaining 25 percent would be used to pay the Pennsylvania Higher Education Assistance Agency's legal bills.

"Don't drive tonight unless you have to," Biehler said. "Or unless you plan to go skating on I-81."